Off to Glasto - but no longer as a 'virgin'

This first appeared in the Bath Chronicle on Thursday, June 23 - the day before Glastonbury.

This weekend I am off again to indulge in Somerset's biggest annaul party - the Glastonbury Festival.

I say 'again' because this will be my third annual trek which means I can now, thankfully, shake off the much sneered at 'Glasto virgin' tag while not yet, sadly, being able to join the league of those oh-so-cocky 'Glasto veterans'.

However, ex-virgin as I may be, from the feedback I received from writing about my pre-Glastonbury fears over the past couple of years I know there is likely to be the odd first-timer reading this now.

They will be looking for reassurance that they have made the right decision to risk life, limb and dodgy toilets for the sake of a bit of music played out in a farmyard.

Well, if that is you and you are looking forlornly at your camping gear and constantly checking the dreary weather forecast, then can I just say, 'relax'.

You are about to have a ball.

A muddy ball perhaps - but a ball nevertheless.

However, I still do know where those fears are coming from.

I remember as a camping first-timer - let alone a Glasto one - sharing my anxieties a few days before my first Glastonbury two years ago. I was convinced that I was the wrong age (40something) and, well, the wrong type of person (don't ask) to lie around in a field of mud no matter how much I was tempted by the music.

But, lo and behold, on my first visit I soon realised Glasto's greatest asset - it's total freedom. This means there is simply no such thing as a 'wrong' person for this party. And that is because:

• It is impossible to be too old.


• It is impossible to be too young.


• It is impossible to wear the wrong thing.


• No one cares a fig what you look like, where you are from or what you do.


• No one cares a fig for anything other than having a good time.


• The toilets are excellent.
  

And only one of those is a lie.

Of course, for all of us going down the no doubt jammed roads towards Pilton it is the music which is the greatest magnet of all and the festival has really pulled out the stops this year to get some top-class performers on the bill.

But, and I can't stress this enough, what will make the trip for so many of us is that Glastonbury is about so much more than what comes out of those speakers. Someone once told me you could enjoy Glastonbury without even seeing a band - I would not have believed it before but I do now because this is a multi-faceted event which provides a unique bonding experience for virgins, veterans, et al.

Oh, and if you are a first-timer and you are really worried about those legendary Glastonbury toilets, then bear this in mind. If you don't like one loo then there are no fewer than 3,224 others to try. Fear not.

So, on with the wellies.

And on with the show.

Glastonbury - an 'ex virgin' speaks out!!!

This time last year I tentatively told readers of my Bath Chronicle column/blog about the nerves I felt as I was about to break my Glastonbury Festival ‘virginity’.

Despite being a big music fan all my life, the ‘tempting’ lure of the big-festivals-in-a-field had always passed me by until last year at the tender age of 45, I made my first appearance in that famous Somerset field in Pilton.

The lure of The Boss (that’s Bruce Springsteen for the uninitiated) was what finally convinced me to get off the sofa and get on the road but as I confided to you all 12 months ago, it was not without major trepidation.

For a start when you get to your mid 40s – especially if like me you’ve managed to avoid camping at all costs – you do realise how much you come to rely on the comforts of life. A night away should involve a comfortable hotel bed – not a piece of ground recently vacated by cows.

And then of course there was the greatest fear for me – The Legend Of The Glastonbury Toilets. I know it may not sound very manly of me but I do think that the private, indoor flushing toilet is one of the greatest inventions of all time (up there with the wheel and DVD boxsets) and frankly sharing this most basic of amenities with thousands of other people from all over the globe appealed not a jot.

My son, who will be accompanying me again this year, once cuttingly said of me “when God was inventing man, I don’t think you were quite what he had in mind” and I realised that this was never more true than when it comes to planning a camping trip in a field where the toilet paper wasn’t on tap and didn’t smell of peach.

But as those of you will know who read my subsequent adjective-laden report after my first visit to Glastonbury, I had an absolute ball. The music was truly amazing but I also came away with the impression that you could have the most wonderful experience, even if you never heard a note.

It is just such an unusual, diverse and appealing community experience where the music is the glue that holds everything together but the fellowship, camaraderie, fun and genuine sense of peace and contentment is just as important.So, having not only survived but I think prospered as a result of my first Glastonbury, I’m off there again this year.

Indeed by the time some of you read this I may already be settled into my stunning one-man tent looking forward to another weekend of music, mayhem and (hopefully) mud-free fields.So can I just say to all the other nervous ‘Glastonbury virgins’ out there about to embark on their first foray into festival fun to just relax and get set for a truly amazing time.

Oh and don’t forget the loo paper (or the sun cream!)