Boris - he only needs one name...

It is often said that the height of fame is when you’re known by just one name. You can say the name and immediately everybody will know who you’re referring to, even if it’s not actually unique to that person.

Think Rhianna. Think Beyonce. Think Adele. Or think of Pele (and think what would have happened if he didn’t use that name as his real name is actually Edson Arantes do Nascimento – and imagine that written on the back of his shirt.

The Material Girl - she only needs one name  

Of course you may argue that it’s easy to adopt such a monicker if you’re in sport or entertainment but surely nobody in public or civic life would be so well known that just one name (particularly if it’s a Christian name) is enough to identify them.

But you’d be wrong. For last week while most of the country went to the polls to vote for relatively anonymous figures Londoners were able to choose their favourite from the exciting ‘Boris v Ken’ show.

For yes, the battle to become London Mayor pitted the blonde haired bumbling Boris Johnson against the hardbitten genial Ken Livingstone in a battle that seemed to have far more glamour and personality than any of the equally important political battles in, say, Rotherham or Romford.

What's in a name?

The fact that Boris won the vote – which went against the tide of Conservative failures elsewhere – is because he has managed to cross the divide of party politics and actually engage people who just have an opinion of him rather than what he believes in. I mentioned his name casually to a die-hard Labour supporter relative on Monday for instance and he burst into laughter and said how much he liked Boris. It’s the first time I’ve ever heard him say he liked anybody from the Conservative Party and that’s because Boris has done that rare thing that all politicians dream of – he has become a bigger figure than the party he represents.

Of course politics is a serious business and the defeated Ken said, ruefully, that the vote wasn’t about who would be the best presenter for Have I Got News For You (which even he agreed Boris would be) but for a serious political office. But what Ken and others must realise is that in a political landscape where only 30 per cent of people even bothered to get out to vote in those aforementioned elections, the desperate lack of personality amongst most politicians is something which is a turn off to people who live in the sort of entertainment and celebrity-led world inhabited by some of the other one-name-only folk such as Cher, Bono and Sting.

Of course not everybody who can get away with just one name uses their Christian one. They may be as far apart musically as it’s possible to be but both Liberace and Morrissey both presumably have Christian names but you’d have to be in a musical section of a quiz to be able to find out what they may be.

So, clearly the way to get yourself noticed and to get your ‘name’ out there is to make that name as short as possible. So this is Sam signing off. Or should that be Holliday. Or should that even be James (which is my real name but that’s a totally different story. . .)

Liberace - and his first name is???

You can't be in three places at once .. .

This was my column in the Bath Chronicle of April 15

I don’t want to give the impression that I have a spectacular social life or I am greatly in demand – both statements, sadly, would be wildly inaccurate – but I have found myself ‘triple-booked’ tonight (Thursday, April 15)

There are three major things going on which I have been invited to and which I said I would love to attend (two in Bath and one in Bradford on Avon) and unless I do what the Vicar of Dibley once famously did when she ate several consecutive Christmas dinners for fear of offending people, I am not going to be able to be everywhere.

The real problem is, however, that although all the events I’ve been invited are very tempting, I would really love instead to be sitting on my sofa watching the first of the big leaders’ debates which are probably going to dominate this General Election campaign.

I know many of you would probably do anything to avoid such debates – and would accept six invitations if it meant being sure of doing so – but I just can’t help it. I like politics and I like debates – there, I’ve confessed it.

To be honest though I’m not entirely sure what to expect as we see Mr Brown, Mr Cameron and Mr Clegg take off their boxing gloves and attempt to land killer punches on their opponents’ chins.

In America these debates are not only the main part of the campaign, in some ways they are the only part as millions of people tune in and presidencies can be won or lost on the strength of what we see. In Britain, as a colleague who also loves his politics but will be running a mile from these debates pointed out, it is different because we get to see our political leaders at each other’s throats week in week out at the House of Commons. Seeing Obama verses McCain would have been a unique sight to America viewers in the last campaign – for us seeing our leaders trading blows is pretty old hat.

And yet, these debates will, I believe, be quite a different experience for all of us watching. The House of Commons battles are often spoilt by the ludicrous cat calls from those who belong in short trousers on the back benches but this will be a proper and (hopefully) quite dignified debate where the lack of interruptions should mean we get to hear a bit more depth to the political arguments than we have seen so far with the release of those three dreary and somewhat idea-free manifestos.

So who will win tonight? Will it be the heavyweight in the red corner, the pretender-to-the-throne in the blue or will it be that cheeky up and coming youngster in the yellow? All bets are off – I just hope all television sets aren’t as well!

Of course, all of this doesn’t help my dilemma of how to be in three places at the same time so if you are reading this and you know I should have been with you tonight and you didn’t see me, I humbly apologise. I will be somewhere else – and that is not on the sofa. Honest.

Oh, and of course there is one other thing. Tonight’s debate is on ITV – and is slap bang up against two of the Beeb’s best programmes, Have I Got News For You and Outnumbered.

Choices, choices, choices – it’s worse than deciding who to vote for!